Patches of sunlight sent me looking for my camera this morning despite the 32-degree reading on the thermometer at 10 AM. It didn’t take a meteorologist to describe today as “crisp and clear.” What appears as fog or mist in the photo at the right is actually a flooding of sunlight into our side yard. Sometimes the truths of God’s Word, His promises, and His love totally embrace me. Other times, in my rebellious soul, I turn the other way, clutching to false idols of my heart’s making. When I cannot see clearly, I can learn to trust the Sonlight that shines with grace and mercy. Unfortunately, my learning curve lags lethargically.
I live a battle of the will to walk by faith and not by sight. Yesterday I had no schedule for arriving back here from Severna Park, but I still battled within myself about making a stop in Mt. Airy to Lorien Nursing Center, just minutes off Interstate 70. A friend resides there, languishing in the last stages of MS. Would I stop or not? At the last minute, and probably aided by the fact that I was in the right lane, I pulled off and went inside for a short visit. As I approached the parking lot, I immediately remembered that the handicapped parking put me at the opposite end of the facility. I would walk right, enter the building, and then walk left through a long hallway to Barbara’s room.
Why the stalling? What troubled me? Didn’t I appreciate all the folks who have visited me and aided in my recoveries? How different would Barbara be now? Once signed in, I navigated my way along and greeted those I met. My brief visit lifted my spirits as Barbara smiled and mouthed thank you.
Today, in retrospect, I wish my motives had clarity of purpose. The questions I posed yesterday offer a very shallow, self-centered perspective. Barbara’s current status now sends me to the Lord, asking for His call home to come to my friend soon. Yet I ponder my need to trust Christ more, knowing that even when my view looks blurred, it’s only because of His brilliant sunshine streaming into life’s real situations.