“I did it all by myself!” Who needs help? From early on, we have a deep desire to conquer with no outside input. And as children master skills, they gain confidence in growing abilities, but adults usually offer some wise limits. We don’t let toddlers use the stove or oven without some guided instruction.

During my years as an educator, some students needed tutors to help them with demanding academics or to get them caught up after an extended illness. Most of the time, suggestions about tutors did not meet with enthusiasm. In making the decision, parents and students listed more homework, less free time, and tutor costs in their list of cons. But so often, following tutorial instructions yields good results and smiling faces.There is a form of tutoring, however, even as an adult, I resist. It involves the various tutorial lessons that accompany illness and suffering. What am I to learn or model as a result of the experiences? How can I endure without whining or snapping at those closest to me? How do I respond? After all, I have so many biblical reminders about my Savior’s sufferings? Truth be told, I’m a novice despite 60+ years of dealing with pain and weakness.

But 2017 widened my understanding by watching others’ struggles and entering uncharted territory myself. I invite you to follow along, challenge my observations, and share your lessons… that each of us may show what helps, what hinders. In doing so may we not grow weary.

Psalms 63:1 (ESV)

[1] O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you;

my soul thirsts for you;

my flesh faints for you,

as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.

Proverbs 3:11-12 (ESV)

[11] My son, do not despise the LORD’s discipline

or be weary of his reproof,

[12] for the LORD reproves him whom he loves,

as a father the son in whom he delights.

3 thoughts on “Tutorials

  1. Thank you for posting this, Mrs. Wolfe. This has definitely been a difficult year for our family, following the diagnosis of our daughter after a vaccine injury has left her with a speech disorder and cognitive delays. I admit that I am on a journey that I could never have expected and haven’t reached a place of understanding or peace yet, but I know it is a daily process. I too, find that I am resisting but sometimes I am not even sure exactly what. So many emotions that get mixed up into a storm of fear, anger, pity, resentment , and fatigue. I think I am finally emerging a little from the feeling of complete helplessness and darkness and ready to take on the next stretch of this journey. I realize that it is a learning process for all of us, and shutting myself off to avoid pain also means shutting out God’s voice of comfort. This is my new goal for the year. To fully feel. Whatever that may be, and to lean more on Jesus and “the peace that passes understanding” than trying to find answers to questions that can never be fully understood. I have a ways to go, but I think I am finally able to look up instead of down and inward.


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